A Woman and Her Body

Whew chiii…ain’t it always something? From Cardi & Megan’s WAP to Chloe Bailey sageing in her pannies – yes, pannies – it’s always something to fuss about in regards to women, their bodies, & sexuality. I painfully watched Wendy Williams’ documentary and had to pause while I sobbed as she spoke about how her parents handled her weight as a kid and how she was teased by other children. 

My earliest memories of body consciousness kick in around the age of four or five years old. Home & family were way worse than playground teasing. My dad would say, “An ounce across the lips is a pound on the hips.” Or he’d encourage me to be smart & study because I wasn’t pretty enough for my looks to take me far. Shopping with my mom was a PAIN! First of all, horrible taste. Second, the dressing room conversations of needing to lose weight, pulling skirts to my armpits so they’d fit, and dear God the horrible style options. You don’t know pain unless you’ve experienced Hamrick’s in the 90s shopping for an Easter dress. I’m older now, & I know they were doing their best. However, body positivity and confidence are pieces that I’ve been collecting bit by bit my entire life. 

It sucks seeing the comment sections of social media where people feel obligated to comment on a woman’s size, level of modesty, and expression. We’re all guilty of criticizing & insulting others without having much reason but as I grow in mindfulness, I want to always consider the nuances of just existing in a God-given body. Everyone has a struggle or insecurity that pains them in some way. I’d hate for my comments to be the reason someone else feels as though they aren’t lovable or valuable. We can be so flippant and careless with our unsolicited commentary. It’s all just so fruitless.

Purity culture, misogyny, and the false ideals of modesty are all bs to me at this point. Skirts to ankles and only dancing the Twist or Bankhead Bounce do not make a woman modest or ladylike. My final, truncated thoughts are these:

1. Don’t speak on what someone else has done just because you can’t or won’t do the same.
2. Men, please stop telling women how to be & exist.
3. Women, give your sisters room to flourish how they see fit. We can celebrate Michelle Obama, Lizzo, the missionaries, & Young M.A all the same!
4. Mothers, let your daughters hear you affirm them and other women. Fathers, affirm your daughters in EVERY way. Don’t make them choose between beauty or brains; they can thrive in both.
5. Ladies, do whatever you feel you need to do to love you! If you’re somewhere in the middle of body goals, enjoy the journey.